For as long as it has been, there has been without a doubt many events that have taken place in the lives of those around us, myself included. However, even though we may lose track of the things that we like to do, the things we try to do, etc, we must never fail to remember that life is about living and thus requires our immediate attention.
This post is coming from interactions within my own life and deals with primarily how we use and cope with our emotions. Emotions are the "life-blood" of what makes us unique within this world. Some may say they can see their pet sad or depressed and that may be the case but we as human beings experience and share emotion differently than animals do.
There are those who choose to withhold or internalize what they feel neglecting to share what they think or feel for a plethora of reasons. On the other hand, there are those who willing fire off what they feel and think and there is very little unknown about these people (much like myself). There are variations among the two that I have mentioned but this is not a post about the in-depth knowledge on our emotions and the types that may exist but rather a sweeping look at how we can effectively view our (and our spouses) emotions when in conflict or discussion.
I have noticed that when something is said that I take as criticism, an attack, or anything of the sorts I immediate turn off my ears (or at least only hearing enough to rebut with a witty and accurate response) and proceed to defensive mode. The issue with this is we are failing to actually gain knowledge that directly affects how we are to hash out an issue that may be present. Though our spouse may be upset, usually the information that they are offering (usually in not the nicest manner) is actually good, solid outside information that can be utilized to our benefit. As the old saying goes, "take everything with a grain of salt," this should be our motto. Salt gives things that are bland, flavor and we use it so that we may enjoy the food that we are eating. Though criticism is never something we enjoy if we can give it a little bit of salt that criticism seems less harsh and more something that we can apply.
When we are in conflict I believe that it is an essential skill to be able to sift through the emotionally driven criticism to the core of what our spouse is crying out for, to be heard and loved. This is not easy and I can only say that I'm writing this in the hopes that this concept will sink into the depths of my soul and take hold. My life and how I deal with pain and with the ill that people think of me is to simply brush it under the rug and hope that the dust bunnies don't become so large that I must pull out the vacuum to clean it all up. Prayer is an absolute necessity if we desire to learn these skills. Our walk will directly determine how we will react to anything. Humility is the foundation for all things especially those dealing with inter-communication between human beings. If we remain humble and realize that those who truly love us are simply trying to express to us how they feel in the off chance that we may hear them and more effectively love them than we are better off.
I realize that this is more of a venting of the frustrations of my short comings but I hope that this information above is something that may be internalized for everyone's edification. My closing thought is that if we can remain humble in all that we do, take in every piece of information as if we we're Christ looking through the human veracity with lenses of absolute loving-kindness, we can and will undoubtedly become better for it. A harsh word stirs up anger but a soft answer turns away wrath; go in peace and live as if today is the last moment in which you can show your love to those you care for.
V/R,
K. R. Marple
